New  »   Sunshine Jen  ·  Post-Modern Drunkard  ·  Poop Beetle  ·  Robot Journal  ·  Gator Country

all comments

post #606
bio: jen

first post
that week

Previous Posts
Sit Up
Cosmo Summer
Girls Not Like Me
The Leaf Blower
Bad Birds
Solo Act

Sunshine Jen Writing Staff

Category List
10 Year Anniversary
Around the World and Back Again
Bar Napkin Poetry
Beyond the Dune Sea
Ireland Stuff
Sunshine Jen News Corp (SJNC)
Sunshine Jen Writing Staff
What's In LA

«« past   |   future »»

Repetitious Repetition
For the last two months, I have been working two jobs in Marina del Rey. Yep, I've become a marina rat with strange tan lines and salty flip flops.

During that time, I tried to keep up with the blogging. I even wrote a piece about how I quit smoking, but something about it seemed familiar. Thanks to google, I learned that I had written about quitting smoking several times before.

Then, last week, when I checked the Happy Robot page, I noticed my Morning Person piece and another morning piece (Meta Morning) listed as a Robot flashback.

Oh no, I thought. I’m stuck in mornings.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

I am turning into that aunt/cousin/sister/friend. You know the one who tells the same five stories over and over again, who comes to Thanksgiving with the wrong pie, who is on the receiving end of a tolerant nod.


I took a few deep breaths and let my internal spinster rave decrease in volume. I reminded myself that I was suffering from fatigue and too much sun and that I had been writing on Happy Robot for over ten years. A little repetition was okay. I was all okay. It was just life.

Yes, I can move on from mornings to afternoons and maybe evenings. I sense great potential in other times of the day.

However, some repetitions are good---like breathing. Breathing is good. I hope to repeat breathing for a very long time.

So please excuse me if from time to time, I get a little repetitious. I thank you for your patience. I plan to work on the words like I work on a martini. I will work on it and work on it until I get something close to lovely or at least sublime.

And how did I quit smoking?

I was never a big time smoker. I never got up to a pack a day, but I loved my Marlboro Reds.

Then, I took up boxing.

As I was learning to jab-cross-hook, I realized I needed a lot of cardio. Rationally, I knew that if I gave up the cigs, I would have even more cardio. Physically, I found myself enjoying the adrenaline rush much more than the nicotine high. Instead of quitting cold turkey, I slowly phased the smokes out and replaced them with hitting big bags.

Then one day, I didn't smoke at all. Then, the day after that, I smoked one. Then, the day after that, I smoked none. Then two days went by without a smoke. I looked at my dwindling supply of cigs one day, and I realized I was not going to buy another pack.

I got down to one cigarette, and I decided to save that cigarette for a catastrophic emergency. I held onto that one cigarette for over a year and eventually threw it out.

I did not become a non-smoking saint. A few times, I was out with friends and would bum one. Then, the last time I smoked, I did not like it at all. It just tasted all wrong in my mouth, so I haven't smoked since.

«« past   |   future »»