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post #198
bio: jen
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9/7/2006
17:12

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What's a Sexyback?


My gym has a i-pod dock where trainers or trainees can plug their i-pods into the gym sound system. It's a small gym, so the chances that your musical tastes will offend someone else are quite small.

I don't own an i-pod. I still have a CD player, so my gym technology is definitely in the Nineties. I don't mind most background music either. The only thing I can't stand is CNN. There's too much tension in CNN as if they're waiting for the next terrible thing to happen instead of just reporting what has happened already (which usually is terrible too). Then, there are the talking heads---who dissect the terrible things and make them sound even more terrible.

But I digress.

In the gym last week, one of the clients (aka trainees) plugged her i-pod in and played her song list of recent pop hits. We got to hear the new Paris Hilton song or the best single money can buy. Some of the trainers tried to find witty non-sexist ways to totally slam the song.

‘But Steeeeeve likes it.' The lady doth protest. Steeeeeve is the gym's owner. However, the trainers did not recant. Sometimes one just has to take a stand.

A few songs later, Justin Timberlake's new single ‘Sexyback' played. For most of the song, the young fella croons ‘I'm bringing sexyback' along with a few other random musings about life, philosophy and chicks.

‘What's a sexyback?' I asked. It's obviously very important that he's bringing sexyback somewhere. Where he brings sexyback is not clear. It's just important that's he's bringing sexyback.

Is sexyback a thing? Is it a little doggie? Sit, Sexyback, sit! Is it an illegal narcotic? Hey, I got some Sexyback, meet me in the back room. Is it a new hip kind of trendy take-out food? You bring the beer. I'll bring the Sexyback well done with fries.

Is sexyback a person? Is it his girlfriend who does a lot strength training and always wears backless tops? Hey Sexyback! Is it his bodyguard? Sexyback has my back tonight. Is it his mother?

‘No, he's bringing sexy back into style.' The i-pod lady explained literally.

‘Oh. I didn't know it was gone.' I said. I need to watch the E! Network more. Wait, no I don't!

‘He probably didn't know where to find it.' I added as I reached for the ninety pound pull down bar.

I looked over and noticed one of the trainers doubled over laughing. Poor Justin. The boy has some issues.


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