First of all, I hope everyone on the east coast is enjoying their snow day. From the pictures, it looks white and pretty uncorrupted by time that will transform it into grey sludge.
There is no snow in Los Angeles right now. There’s snow on the distant mountains, but those are the mountains which are distant. However, what we lack in snow is made up for by holiday lighting.
There are definitely more lights around the neighborhood this year than there were last year. One of the neighbors even put a white covering on his front lawn to simulate snow while wrapping the trunk of his palm tree in red and white lights in a tribute to the candy cane. I didn’t know palm trees grew in snow. I guess the key is wrapping them with red and white lights.
Last night, as I was walking the dog past a Christmas countdown clock, glowing inflated Santas, and nativity scenes with disco balls, I noticed something strange. One of the baby reindeers made of white lights moved his little head. I thought I was hallucinating, but a few seconds later, the head moved again.
Okay, yes, rationally, I knew that there was probably a little motor powered by a AA battery in the glowing neck area. Lawn decorating has come a long way since I was a child. Stuff doesn’t just blink. It moves too.
While pondering all this, I let the dog chase a squirrel. Don’t worry. The squirrel is perfectly safe. He’s never caught a squirrel. He likes to stand at the base of the tree with his little stubby tail wagging as he stares up at the squirrel staring down at him. Then, the moment is over, and he moves on. I like to think of the squirrel as the dream that gives the dog’s life some purpose and depth even though he’s probably just acting on instinct.
I was about to move on down the sidewalk toward the house with the alternating flashing lights (I know, how very eighties) when the reindeer made of lights spoke.
Hello Jennifer, I am the Doctor. The Reindeer said and shifted his head once again.
I stopped walking, and the dog stopped walking.
Who’s there? I asked suddenly on yellow alert.
Over here. Under the bush. I’m the reindeer made of lights. I’m the Doctor.
Doctor What? I asked.
Theeeee Doctor. Last of the Time Lords. The Reindeer said now shifting his head from side to side.
I hunched down to talk to him directly. The dog was obviously annoyed that we were not walking, but I had my own squirrel to deal with.
But aren’t you supposed to be some white English guy?
Actually I’m Scandinavian.
Would you like to see my TARDIS? The Reindeer asked.
That’s a rather personal question. I said, but before I could make some innuendo, a giant blue phone box appeared on the tree lawn to a whooa whooa sound.
That’s the Tardis. You can go anywhere. Anytime. Would you like to travel with me? The Reindeer asked.
No thanks. If you were cute and humanlike, I’d be game, but you’re four legged, and with you and the dog, I’d be outnumbered. Besides I don’t have enough poop bags with me for the dog.
Are you sure? Most chicks dig the TARDIS.
I am not most chicks. Goodbye Doctor. I hope you find what you’re looking for.
It’s because I’m made of lights, isn’t it.
Actually, yes. I said and proceeded down the sidewalk with a most anxious dog. He knew he had a treat waiting for him at home.
On my way into the office this morning, I drove past the house with the talking reindeer made of lights, but the reindeer was gone. Either the reindeer really was a time lord, or someone had nicked him in the night.