religious icons performing oral sex
by R-Bo
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Now, I usually have a tolerance for crazy people, and from time to time am entertained on the train by their crazy antics or whatnot. Except this time.
Heading home on the F train, I was sitting in the middle of the car being tired and looking forward to dinner and doing fun stuff. I hear a man talking loudly on the other end of the train and don’t think much about it until the next stop where he decides to yell, “BOOOOM!” and then “Watch out!” and as people are getting on and off the train. This spooks everyone on the train because he is very very loud. We all exchange glances as if to say, “oh, crazy people…”.
He continues this at every stop, but now starts adding comments during the rest of the trip. His first topic is current events and says, “if I was in that Taliban, I would of already taken care of this mess… but you pussies can’t do shit”.
I wanted to walk back and get him to clarify this. “Sir, do you mean, if you were in the US army you would of taken care of the Taliban already? Or, are you saying that you are on the side of the Taliban. Your comments weren’t very clear.”
After the current events, he moves onto the ever-popular topic of religious icons performing oral sex on you. “Oh, Jesus just sucked my dick! Oh, here comes to Allah to suck my dick”. He keeps this up for the rest of the trip, and seems to get louder and more graphic as time goes.
Now, we are all at the point where we want to just bust this guy’s jaw. Personally, I was having the image of taking an aluminum bat to him and breaking all his teeth. The big problem (other than not having a bat) was that this guy was really tall and from the looks of it, probably smelled bad.
At the East Broadway stop, two short Hispanic women get on, and unknowingly stand very near the crazy man. The doors close, and he starts up on the spiritual oral sex theme that he had going before. The woman turns to him and says, “would you mind watching your language?”
That pisses him off, and he starts yelling at her to shut up, and to go to hell, and to also suck his penis. The woman stands her ground and calmly keeps repeating the request that he watch his language. Crazy guy is now all pissed off, and jumps up and starts yelling in her face and threatening to beat her up.
This is when I realize a weird thing happening in terms of the people on the train. Being in the middle of the car, I look down to the non-crazy end, and it isn’t very crowded. But I turn and look towards the crazy end, it is crowded. I then I notice that it seems like a whole bunch of guys kind of jockeying towards this lady, as if they have her back in case this guy tries anything further.
She is sick of all of this, and decides at the next stop to get the police. We arrive at Jay Street, and she tells the guy she is getting the police and sticks her foot to block the door from closing and gets the conductor’s attention that something is up. Well, he gets really pissed at this and yells and bitches and finally figures out that he probably should get off the train now. As he is getting off, the lady gets a really good shot in by smacking him with her umbrella. He freaks out, tries to throw a punch or two.
We then have to sit there at the station while the police come. Woo. I think the crazy guy got away, though.
To sum up, I hate crazy people.
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