An Open Letter to John Kerry and all of the other loser Democrats
I quit. I am done. I am changing my affiliation to the Republican Party. Finally, I can get behind such important issues as tax relief for the wealthy and the erosion of our most basic human, economic, environmental and otherwise decent values. By day's end, there will be a poster of Paul Wolfowitz hanging on my bedroom wall with a quote balloon over his head saying "I eat Democrat crunch cereal twice a day, and you should too." I can't wait for the draft that Bush promised he wouldn't begin. I'll get to see young men being killed for lies and the financial interests of the current political family. Never again will my Democratic vote cast in North Carolina have to go to waste in the ancient and useless Electoral College system. I can't wait for Liddy Dole's re-election, her newly tightened face expressing false sympathy for those poor hog and chicken farmers. At least Gore waited a few days before he gave up. This is unprecedented. The White House Chief of Staff comes out and says they think they've won. All major news sites are showing it too close to call. And yet, two hours later, you're calling the President to concede. Which leads me to believe that you don't want to look like a sore loser, and are trying to save some political face for the future. Now that the neo-conservatives have a firm grasp on things, it shouldn't take long to find a healthy, young, non cancerous replacement for Rehnquist's seat who will interpret the Constitution their way for the next 30 years. I hold that the day to day operation of my washing machine has a greater impact on my life than does the Presidential election. My washing machine is old, but it still works fine. Every now and again, you have to repeat the spin cycle to get all of the water out. I would like to stuff you into that washing machine and sit on its lid until you apologize to the half of the country who voted for you and believed you when you said you could actually make a difference. I will put my dirty socks in with you to keep you company. I must go now, for in seven minutes, apparently you will be holding a press conference where you give up too soon.