Stories of the love gone bad lovestinks
The Stories...
girl of my dreams dumped me! 
dumped through a text message. 
crazy brits 
dumped by a huge loser 
unbelievable: he broke up with me! 
what are the odds? 
 
i was dumper and dumpee 
dumped on national tv 
dumped by a loser 
pretty girl 
summertime math girl 
a david lynchy kind of love 
 
why valentine's day shouldn’t exist 
potato boy rejection 
loser 
pee on leg 
my semi-formally formal 
dangling in the tournifouria 
 
dumped on new years by finacee 
dumped by his fiancee 
intruder alert 
mrs. robot would not go out with me 
double dump 
love me back. 
 
rat bastard asshole 
worst road trip ever 
she came in through the balcony window 
bank farm bag 
rhapsody in black and blue 
tea time 
 
friends hold hands 
what are you trying to say? 
go back to montana 
technically 
regret! regret! 
i'll have that sex to go... 
 
no, you can't have any of my fries 
but i got a boner for you in the maimi 
kissing my mom 
the famous blue raincoat 
007 the hard way 
i should gotten a clue? 
 
moss mouth 
rollerskating party 
right this way sir 
boob 
orangina 
two bad 
 
not my flannel sheets! 
down boy! down! 
ally mcbeal 
the road less traveled by 
fetal position 
oooo, soundtracks 
 
soundtracks for dumpees 
what's so damn funny? 
he lived in his parents' garage 
yellow shoes 
give me book! i will read it! 
poo boy. 
 
you don't have to go home but you can't stay here 
todd synagogue 
mrs flynt's heartbreak class 
computer held hostage 
don't leave / do leave 
Love Stinks. Sometimes we get dumped.
: submit your own

the road less traveled by
by hair product consumer
there was a trainer at my gym who was adorable. he was SO cute he made me want to buy hair products. we often smiled at eachother, but with trainers you can never tell if they are really interested, or they just want you as a client. so i was excited when he suggested that I leave my number "in his box". ( i have to remember to use that line)

so we met after working out one night and he didn't want to go to any of the cute bars in the area, of which there are 40 gagillion. when i suggested one of them he said, don't they charge you $10 for a glass of water there?

I was like, okay, where to? he took me to a cheesy diner where we had coffee and told me his life story. turns out he used to work at an institution where he met some crazy girl he was into. hmmm. and he really likes "exotic" girls. thought i: does he mean like "exotic" dancers?

so by then i was feeling mildly offended by both the exotic girl ref and the stinky deli coffee and then he let lose the deal breaker:

he quoted robert frost.

he had recently decided, admittedly late, to go to pre-med. but he said to me, an actor, that he "took the road less traveled by". and went to premed??!!!!?

I was like oh no. he misinterpreted and then quoted the poem we all memorized in the 4th grade. oh no.

he called me a lot after that, and I saw him at the gym (awkward!). I left him a message at one point that i was having a "family crisis" and couldn't see him. creative, no? looking back i wish i had told him that "two roads diverged in a yellow wood" and we wuz headed in opposite directions.














© happyrobot.net 1998-2024
powered by robots :]