Stories of the love gone bad lovestinks
The Stories...
girl of my dreams dumped me! 
dumped through a text message. 
crazy brits 
dumped by a huge loser 
unbelievable: he broke up with me! 
what are the odds? 
 
i was dumper and dumpee 
dumped on national tv 
dumped by a loser 
pretty girl 
summertime math girl 
a david lynchy kind of love 
 
why valentine's day shouldn’t exist 
potato boy rejection 
loser 
pee on leg 
my semi-formally formal 
dangling in the tournifouria 
 
dumped on new years by finacee 
dumped by his fiancee 
intruder alert 
mrs. robot would not go out with me 
double dump 
love me back. 
 
rat bastard asshole 
worst road trip ever 
she came in through the balcony window 
bank farm bag 
rhapsody in black and blue 
tea time 
 
friends hold hands 
what are you trying to say? 
go back to montana 
technically 
regret! regret! 
i'll have that sex to go... 
 
no, you can't have any of my fries 
but i got a boner for you in the maimi 
kissing my mom 
the famous blue raincoat 
007 the hard way 
i should gotten a clue? 
 
moss mouth 
rollerskating party 
right this way sir 
boob 
orangina 
two bad 
 
not my flannel sheets! 
down boy! down! 
ally mcbeal 
the road less traveled by 
fetal position 
oooo, soundtracks 
 
soundtracks for dumpees 
what's so damn funny? 
he lived in his parents' garage 
yellow shoes 
give me book! i will read it! 
poo boy. 
 
you don't have to go home but you can't stay here 
todd synagogue 
mrs flynt's heartbreak class 
computer held hostage 
don't leave / do leave 
Love Stinks. Sometimes we get dumped.
: submit your own

Moss Mouth
by Coast
My first real girlfriend I met when I was in grade ten. She was in grade nine and I was smitten. Perpetually the hormones raced through me and I still remember how "hard" it was to get through a day without seeing her.

We both entered the science fair. Of course her project was something concocted last minute just so she could get off classes with me. Surprisingly she, another guy and I all made it to the regional fair held at a university campus.

This other guy was a little creepy. He always wore the same flannel shirt and his teeth were totally rotten. His nickname was Moss Mouth!

A few weeks after the fair, I saw the "love of my life" hanging around MM. I didn't want to act jealous so I pretended not to care.

Soon they were hand in hand and I could only imagine, lips to lips.

I assumed I had been dumped. Either way I never wanted to kiss her again. Is Moss Mouth a sexually transmitted disease?

I met her again, twenty years later. She was a nurse and my wife's (now ex's) father was in the last stages of cancer treatment. My wife looked like a teenager (even though she was over 30) and most guys would rate her a 9. Nursey had gained a lot around the hips but still had the very same cute sexy voice I remembered. We talked for a while. My wife and kids were around so we didn't get into anything deep.

Nursey asked who the girl visiting with me was. I told her. She thought the "girl" was a teenager!

Afterwords, my wife remarked how the nurse seemed to be hitting on me. I told her the whole story. She had nothing to worry about because I could never again kiss that Moss Mouth.












© happyrobot.net 1998-2024
powered by robots :]